Gene Stolzfus (1940-2010) and me in 2005, I miss you Gene.
When those we’re closest to see through our illusions and point out our self-centered mistakes, we quickly get defensive, and if they don’t stop we may become quite angry or enraged. If we look at those arguments in which tempers flare and voices are raised, we’ll find that most are sparked by our feeling that someone else has injured the narcissistic image we cherish in our hearts. In those moments when a loved one’s words run contrary to our illusions, we must choose which we cherish more—the loved one or the illusions.
–Lorne Ladner, from The Lost Art of Compassion (HarperSanFrancisco)
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